Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My head spins

I seem to go from feeling sad and stressed - to happy and feeling so content with my life - within a 24 hour period.

Making the big decisions in life alone is a scary thing. I do call on and trust the people in my life - I have been blessed. But it still falls on my lap.

I start in the morning with helping my 10 year old get ready for school and listening to all her 5th grade drama, then on to my teenagers who complain about their teachers and between wanting a job, a boyfriend, social time and coaching soccer don't have time to do their chores - oh and can they have gas $$$???? Then my 20 year old calls and is just starting out and has so many questions about life and love - my heart worries for him daily. Can I give these children that God has trused ME with, the right direction and advice??

Where should we live? This house is tooo much mula. Should I be on a TIGHT budget and get a little place for me and the girls - should I lower my pride and go stay with my parents?? (which the girls are all for by the way). I am thankful for just having the options.

Then I'm juggling working 2-3 part time jobs (which is another blessing - I love what I do!!) But I do get a little tired which can make me a little SASSY (as my bro-in law Donald so lovingly told me). I need to work on patience and getting to bed earlier! I get up at 5:30 to meet Jill for our workout then end up staying up late doing "stuff". I've decided I need more than 6 hours of sleep to function rationally.

There are no easy answers to my life. But I'm trying to give it all to God. He has never failed me - I've always been so blessed.

My Aunt Lois just sent me an email with this verse (literally while I was typing)

Psalm 55:22 'Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.'

Thank you Auntie - that helped!!

And the other verse I've been trying to memorize is:

Psalm 121
A song of ascents. 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Thank you Lord for sustaining me in the midst of chaos and fear.......and for stopping my head from spinning :)


Nyla said...

I feel you Shannon. I have had the same feelings. It is so good to know that I am not alone! We are moving our of our home soon because it is too much mula too! It is a little humbling...but so worth it.I will miss this house...but then I tell myself, it is just a house...and it isn't coming to heaven with me...that is satisfying to me.
I should start putting to memory some of God's word too! It really helps you keep things in perspective. Thanks for the inspiration!

Chrissie said...

I have so many hopes and fears for T & L and they're only four!
love you, Shannon.

Kristen said...

praying for you... those are hard decisions. God has placed trusted family and friends in your life to support you. Lean on Him and He will guide you...

i love the verses you shared. i just finished beth moore's psalms of ascents bible study - so good.

i need to get more sleep too... so easy to stay up to get things done but then the alarm goes off and it is hard to get out of bed. i am proud of you for getting up each morning to get your work out in - it isn't always easy.

Joyful Weddings & Events said...

I love you so much Shan and have been praying for you a lot this week. I cannot even imagine having to make the decisions you are facing. I am so proud of you- you are such a committed mom, sister & friend and always seek after the Lord. Your strength is so encouraging to me and I miss seeing you all of the time.

No matter what you decide with the move, we will be there to help.

we love you!

Rachel Shoemaker said...

I'll be keeping you in my prayers! Love you all :)

Cathi Hamen said...

my sweet friend.... i know i know i know! i admire your attitude thru all of this. I admire your natural will to seek scripture. you forgot to mention the Hamens playroom as your other options for housing though....
God is Good and you are being a faithful servant my friend!! We love you ALL!!

Denise said...

you are beautiful shannon. it is your vulnerability, need, and dependence on God that makes Jesus beautiful in you. How can your kids Jesus, when the One who sustains, loves, provides, and leads is so evident in your life.

May He go before you and behind you, laying out His will for you, continuing to be your strength, and hope.

Denise said...

the question was suppose to be "how can your kids miss Jesus when...(He is so evident in you).

Jerome & Crysti said...

You are an amazingly strong woman! One of my greatest fears is that something will happen to Jerome, and then where will I be? It's one of those fears that I have to keep handing over to God...but seeing your courage, determination, and faith in God inspires me. Were the worst to happen, leaning on God would sustain any of us, if we but trust in Him.
Thank you for inspiring me, and for being such a great role model for all of us!

Jen S said...

Praying that God will give you guidance and a heart stayed on Him! It is encouraging to hear how you are clinging to His word.